Thanks to everybody who responded to the festive challenge I issued on Monday: “What is the nicest thing you can think of to say about Newt Gingrich?” Many of the contributions were funny; some were serious; a few were unprintable. To read all of them, and there were hundreds, you can go to the Comments section on my previous post, to these two pages on Twitter, and to the magazine’s Facebook page. In order to save you some time, and brighten up a winter day, I’ve selected my Top Forty. As they used to do on the radio chart shows, and still do on David Letterman, I’ll count them down in reverse order.
“Newt is not as stupid as Rush Limbaugh.” (Lee Blair via FB)
“Newt Gingrich’s head is as close to a parallelogram as I’ve ever seen on a human.” @kickinghorse892
“He looks like a caricature of himself, this saves cartoonists a lot of effort.” @jrt1101
“He ties his ties very smartly.” @chameleon_poet
“He’s clearly a hit with the ladies.” @franklinmorris
“He would make a good pet.” @lexinorthwood
“He and his wife both have nicely combed hair.” @krue0177
“When he grins he looks like a goblin.” (OOF)
“He looks like the Pillsbury Doughboy.” @Wulalowe
“He looks like Fred Flintstone?” (Scott E. Tyson via FB)
“He looks like Sponge Bob Square Pants?” (Linda Chappell McCorkindale via FB.)
“He’s done his fair share of revitalizing the wedding planning and divorce law businesses.” @ZachSmith0307
“He makes all other multiply-divorced men look better.” (BartPR)
“He makes italian rightwing politicians look better.” @MrAlboRidolfi
“Same as the Devil—he’s not lazy.” @johanfkirsten1
“He has a less than sadistic view of what we should about long-term immigrants.” (Nancy Mace Kreml via FB)
“He doesn’t appear to be a dumb-ass like Perry or a lush, like Boehner.” (TALEX101)
“Newt Gingrich is definitely less evil than Hitler.” @HewstoneW
“Pretty sure he hasn’t tested positive for any performance enhancing drug.” @Greyhound_Dude
“He’s taller than James Madison.” @DRClink
“He hasn’t shut the government down in years.” @english_nerd
”If I had a wife and she played the French Horn, I would find an excuse to get out of the house too.” @klpaul
“He signed a pledge to oppose gay marriage—and we all know his track record for keeping promises related to marriage.” (Shane F. Hockins via FB)
“Cheerfully provides his current wife with bling.” @JayHarveyArts
“He’s never divorced me.” @whinerella
“He’ll insult someone with a smile.” (dgpoyer)
“He’s not nearly as ignorant as John Cassidy.” (peterike)
“His name is wonderfully Dickensian.” (evo)
“Talks space exploration in an inspiring, almost-JFK way. But he’d end Medicare to fund.” @JeromePandell
“He sent his gay half-sister and her wife a wedding present. Even though he declined to attend the wedding.” @susannaeliz
“He likes to do it. Now who doesn’t like to do it?” @MikeGreggs
“He’s somebody’s grandpa.” @playbymarly
“He’s not MY grandfather.” @David_Eads
“His mother seemed to like him, in that interview with Connie Chung. Remember?” (Mogambo)
“He’s turned ‘historian’ into one of America’s highest paying professions.” (cocofood)
“For a fat man, he doesn’t sweat that much.” @ElaineLiner
“There’s not two of him.” @mhobson12
“I may be wrong, but I don’t think he’s tweeted his penis.” (newyorker8)
“Put a beard on him and he’d make a great Santa. Assuming he’d let the kids have the gifts without working for ‘em.” (BlueSwirl)
“He’s the one to get Obama reelected.” (grgpap74)
