Today in dubious psychological fieldwork: a study conducted by Apple and the London School of Economics, in which forty-five thousand British smart-phone users reported their fluctuating moods via an app, found that the three activities that made people the happiest are sex, exercise, and going to the theatre.
Sex: fair enough. Exercise: never tried it, never will. Which brings us to the theatre. I have to wonder: Were these people all at “Mamma Mia”? Granted, theatregoing in London has a more integrated role in daily life than it does in the States, perhaps more akin to sex or exercise. But, as someone who goes to the theatre regularly, often for professional reasons, I must acknowledge the full spectrum of emotions I’ve experienced. Attending the current revival of “Godspell” made me feel boredom, disgust, and drowsiness. (Is that an emotion?) At “An Evening with Patti LuPone and Mandy Patinkin,” I felt fear.
Then again, I challenge you to find a natural high within New York County greater than the first-act finale of “Anything Goes,” a giddy layer cake of tap-dancing sailors atop droll Cole Porter lyrics. Of course, “Anything Goes” is from the golden age of musical comedy, a genre that is doggedly committed to manufacturing joy. When I think of my happiest moments at the theatre, I think of shows like “Guys & Dolls,” an indestructible force of euphoria so effective you might as well be snorting it. “Guys & Dolls” ’s modern analogue, “The Book of Mormon,” makes people happy enough to spend up to $477 on premium seats, so that’s got to count for something.
Still, the study raises a larger question: Is the purpose of theatre really to increase happiness? Ask Anton Chekhov, Samuel Beckett, Stephen Sondheim, or Sophocles, and you’d probably get a no. Often, the job of theatre can be to inspire quiet contemplation, or righteous anger, or pangs of self-awareness, or dizzying ambivalence. If you’re lucky, you might exit the theatre still piecing together your worldview, now that Tony Kushner or Larry Kramer has eloquently shredded it. That’s not to say good theatre necessarily makes you miserable. As Bertolt Brecht said, “It is not enough to demand insight and informative images of reality from the theatre…. Theatre must teach all the pleasures and joys of discovery, all the feelings of triumph associated with liberation.” Does that count as happiness? Maybe—but “all the feelings of triumph associated with liberation” probably wasn’t an option that could be selected on the app.
Which brings me to a final point: Shouldn’t these happy theatregoers have been turning off their phones instead of texting in their contentment levels? Honestly, people: Didn’t you hear the announcement?
