Dear Internet Fact Checking:
I spend a lot of time in a genealogical chat room called whosyourgranny.com. Recently, it carried a post suggesting that the Koch brothers, the right-wing billionaires from Wichita, Kansas, were distantly related to the late Ed Koch, the former Democratic mayor of New York, despite the fact that their names are pronounced differently. It sounds right to me, but someone I work with told me that you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet.
High Flier, Torrance, Calif.
Dear High Flier:
Whoever told you that you can’t believe everything you read on the Internet is a deeply cynical and untrustworthy person. Both the Mayor and the billionaires from Wichita flatly denied any family connection, and flat denials are, of course, the next best thing to an admission. According to kissincousins.com, the Mayor and the Koch brothers discussed the matter in 2008, during a reception honoring David Koch for his donation to what became the David H. Koch Theatre, at Lincoln Center—although Mayor Koch had privately referred to the donation and the renaming as “yet another reputation-laundering operation” (dishmonger.com). At the reception, the Wichita Kochs dismissed a family relationship with Ed Koch as ridiculous, and spent twenty minutes trying to explain why without mentioning the word “Jewish” (knishdish.com). Finally, Mayor Koch ended the conversation by saying, “I’m not related to any out-of-towners” (whosyourgranny.com).
Dear Internet Fact Checking:
Now that every product on the shelves claims to be gluten-free, I started to wonder what happened to all of that gluten that used to be in everything. Then I read on cashgab.com that someone has been buying up gluten (at bargain-basement prices) and storing it in caves in Utah, on the theory that—like eggs, which used to be considered unhealthy and now are considered O.K. to eat—gluten will someday be found to be perfectly healthy, food companies will want to put gluten back in their products, and buyers will find that one person has cornered the world’s gluten supply. Is this true?
Ravioliron, Rock Springs, Wyo.
Dear Ravioliron:
As usual, cashgab.com is, if we may put it this way, on the money. Where has all the gluten gone? Is it just a coincidence that the same question was raised (hidingstuff.com) about the eventual destination of the trans fats that so many products claimed to have rid themselves of? What about reports (photosquashed.com) that astronauts took pictures from space of quivering mountains of trans fats in the Chihuahuan Desert, and that the pictures were suppressed because of pressure from the Trilateral Commission? As if this weren’t proof enough, trucks have definitely been seen driving through Utah (eyeballer.com). Why else would trucks drive through Utah? Is it just a coincidence that Utah ranks fourteenth among the states for number of usable caves? It is hardly insignificant that when George Soros was asked whether he was trying to corner the gluten market, he said, and we quote, “What a stupid question!” (cashgab.com).
Dear Internet Fact Checking:
I read on the Internet (I think it was on starschmutz.com) that some London bookmakers are taking odds on whether Vladimir Putin or Kate Winslet will appear the most times without a shirt in front of a camera during any given month. A friend of mine read the same thing, which makes me think it’s true.
Sixpacker, Chillicothe, Mo.
Dear Sixpacker:
The report on the London betting was indeed by starschmutz.com, and you can take their reporting to the bank. In fact, the story, we’re told by a reliable media outlet (gossipedia.com), goes farther: London, where you can legally bet on almost anything, is a city that has proved very attractive to billionaire Russian oligarchs, all of whom have an intense interest in Vladimir Putin. According to russoblab.com (significantly, the site that had the exclusive on Putin and Madonna’s love child), the oligarchs sometimes refer to Putin as the Bare-Naked Boychik. No less an authority than moviedirt.com reports that the oligarchs are suspected of having been behind the fact that Kate Winslet, who was heavily favored to win against Putin for December, 2008, because of the release that month of “Revolutionary Road,” managed to complete two sex scenes in that film without removing her shirt. See the post on celebritybreasts.com (significantly, the same site that had the exclusive on Putin and Prince Harry’s love child) entitled “Was the Editing Room Locked?” At the same time, we have reports that a December, 2008, photo will soon emerge showing Putin—whose shirtless pictures have usually been of some outdoor activity like horseback riding or fishing—appearing naked from the waist up in a formal meeting with His Holiness Kirill I, Patriarch of Moscow and Primate of the Russian Orthodox Church. The Patriarch was fully clothed, according to a source who was nearly there (starschmutz.com). ♦
