Fiscal Cliff: The potentially disastrous economic repercussions of the automatic tax hikes and spending cuts scheduled to take effect in 2013 should Congress fail to agree upon a workable alternative by the end of the year.
Fiscal Picturesque Woodland Hiking Trail: The relaxing climb up to the fiscal cliff that leads through the scenic forest of election-year procrastination before arriving at the summit of Mount Crazy Partisan Brinksmanship.
Fiscal Molehill: Where Congress’ T-Mobile contract is up, but it hasn’t made up its mind yet whether it’s going to renew and take the free handset upgrade, or just switch carriers and get an iPhone like all the other Congresses.
Fiscal Isthmus: A narrow strip of public optimism linking two larger bodies of total congressional meltdown.
Fiscal Escarpment: A budget emergency that occurs while Congress is cramming vocab for the S.A.T.s.
Underwater Fiscal Cliff: Where Americans must decide whether the long-term costs of resolving the budget crisis exceed the present free-market value of even bothering to have a damn country anymore.
Fiscal Hillock: A variation on the fiscal cliff for legislators who enjoy creating eleventh-hour congressional impasses, but who also tend to get sort of queasy around heights. Also good for fiscal tobogganing.
Fiscal Smaug’s Mountain: Where Congress attempts to close the annual deficit by dispatching the House Budget Committee on a quest to find a fabled trove of gold held by a fierce and powerful dragon. Also, the dragon is a metaphor for China.
Fiscal Volcano: When geo-financial pressure builds beneath the Senate floor, causing the Capitol building to spew molten-hot I.R.S. code updates and administrative materials all over the greater D.C. metro area.
Fiscal Toxic Landfill: Where Congress’ solution to the fiscal cliff in turn creates future budget crises to be solved by the legislatures of our children and grandchildren. But not our great-grandchildren, since the government will have gone bankrupt long before then.
Fiscal Fjord: When the Norwegian Parliament must decide whether to increase inntektsskatt in order to balance the statsbudsjett.
Fiscal Tectonic Subduction Zone: The site of an intercontinental collision between clever wordplay and fear-mongering that leads to the natural formation of labored political buzzwords.
Fiscal Caldera Lake of Boiling Acid: Pretty much anything related to trying to figure out the long-term viability of the Social Security system.
Fiscal Dirtbike Ramp: Where Congress is unable to reach a consensus on the budget by December 31st, but it resolves to at least do a bunch of sweet wheelies and three-sixties as the nation’s economic wellbeing sails out into the abyss.
Fiscal Indoor Rock Wall: An artificially manufactured fiscal cliff, otherwise known as a fiscal cliff.
Illustration by Laurent Cilluffo.
