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The New Yorker

Humor & Cartoons

Shouts & Murmurs

Recommendations from the Guy Who Works at Your Local Dispensary

Turpentine Gelato, Fiscal Daydream, and . . . what was the question again?
Shouts & Murmurs

Ideas for the New York City Officials Implementing Rat Birth Control

Encourage male rats to recount the plots of “Dune” and “Dune: Part Two” on first dates.
Shouts & Murmurs

How I Use the Internet, According to Nineties Action Movies

I pull up a digitized photo on the screen. Leaning in, I drag a bright-green box around a detail in the image, type rapidly for a full fifteen seconds, and then softly say, “Enhance.”
Shouts & Murmurs

Stories from the Trump Bible

And Jesus said to Pontius Pilate, “This trial is very unfair. You are a corrupt judge, and your wife is a very nasty woman.”
Sketchbook

Overheard in New York: Waiting for the Eclipse at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden

“She’s a flat-earther.”
We provide a cartoon, you provide a caption. Enter this week’s contest.

Daily Cartoons

1/15

“The new TikTok trend is trying to regulate TikTok.”
Cartoon by Adam Douglas Thompson
Peruse a gallery ofcartoons from the issue »

Comics

Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Trump on Trial: The Defense Rests

But is quickly roused awake!
Sketchbook

A Millionth-Anniversary Surprise

When one has been married forever, one sometimes feels that there is nothing new one will ever discover about one’s person, however . . .
Sketchpad

Signs of the New Season

Girl Scout cookie surplus, skimpy-clothes anxiety? It must be spring!
Shouts & Murmurs

Beyond Country: Forthcoming Beyoncé Albums in Surprising Genres

A German synth-pop record: Notable tracks include “If I Were Ein Boy,” “All the Single Fräulein,” and “Hälo.”

Be Prepared (for Cookies)

Shouts & Murmurs

Rejected Girl Scout Cookies

Jumbo Samoas, the Thinnest Possible Mints, and other cookies that didn’t make the cut.
Shouts & Murmurs

Trump’s Advice for Girl Scouts

“Remember, as you become Woman Scouts, aim to be as thin as your mints.”
Shouts & Murmurs

The Truth About Girl Scout Cookies

As my eyes adjusted to the darkness, I began to make out small figures weaving between enormous pieces of machinery.
Shouts & Murmurs

Introducing the Trump Scouts

Suburban kids have gotten weak, lazy, and “woke.” Trump Scouts will fix that.

More Humor

Shouts & Murmurs

U.F.C. Fighter on How to Protect Yourself from Being Swept Off Your Feet

The Eye Gouge: The eye gouge prevents love at first sight by ending their sight. This is why the Three Stooges never got laid.
Shouts & Murmurs

I Can’t Stop Calling the National Guard

I called the National Guard when I overbaked my brownies and my smoke alarm went off; I called the National Guard when I underbaked my brownies and I was worried they might make me sick.
Shouts & Murmurs

Old-Fashioned Know-How

Kids today! You ever fought a forest fire that you yourself started? You ever had thirteen kids by seventeen different women?
Shouts & Murmurs

Depressing! You Cumulatively Spend Three Days a Year Playing a Game You Enjoy

Just think about how many better ways you could be spending that time—like by doing something you hate.
Shouts & Murmurs

What You’ve Been Missing in My Instagram’s “My Close Friends”

The photo of the weird spill on my jeans is exclusively for my Instagram close friends, sorry.
Shouts & Murmurs

Our Environmental Pledge

Because we are so dedicated to the future of this planet, our C-suite will no longer use the company’s private jets to drag-race in the sky.
Blitt’s Kvetchbook

A Whole New Ballgame

Opening Day has arrived, and all bets are off.
Shouts & Murmurs

Cillian Murphy’s Bedtime Routine

5 P.M.: Call ’round to the pub and dine on a hearty meal of potatoes, bangers, and the knowledge that you are Christopher Nolan’s favorite.
Shouts & Murmurs

“The Real Housewives of Roku City”

These ladies bring tons of drama and are no strangers to a TV screen.
Shouts & Murmurs

Signs You Should Give Up on a Book

You’re using the book to squash bugs; you’re waiting for the book to initiate physical contact; you can’t stop thinking about Gary Oldman movies.