Sunday
Derek and Simon called to ask if I wanted to meet them at Chick-fil-A tomorrow for a big protest march. I’m in!
Monday
Got to Chick-fil-A early to help make funny signs. Saw Derek (Simon had to work), Danny, Maureen, and two or three others I don’t know. Paint “Hold the Intolerance,” “Bite My Pickle,” “Go Pluck Yourself, Chick-fil-A!,” and “God Hates Fats” signs (two). Maureen had an idea about white meat and racism but we couldn’t fit it on a single sign. She left in a huff when we wouldn’t put her message on four signs and then hold them up side-by-side. Not practical, Maureen!
Ran into old neighbor Julia who was picking up lunch for her office. She said she hadn’t heard about the controversy but was a big fan of the Chargrilled Chicken Club. She took a flyer but said everyone was expecting Chick-fil-A so she really couldn’t go somewhere else. That’s O.K. Maybe she’ll think twice about having lunch there next time!
Tuesday
Not as big a turnout at the protest today. Just Derek, me, and a nice lesbian couple (Lauren and Meg). They have been going door-to-door in Eagle Rock to sign people up to boycott Chick-fil-A but say it is hard because everyone is already vegan. Big debate about whether vegans and vegetarians still count for the boycott. Decide they do count if Chick-fil-A serves any vegetarian dishes. Meg goes undercover as customer and steals menu. (Meg is like “The Bourne Identity”!)
Talk about your vegetarian options! Turns out Chick-fil-A offers cole slaw, yogurt parfait, a fruit cup, a side salad, and carrot-and-raisin salad (yum!), so vegetarians count for boycott! A victory for our side! Hard work (and Meg’s courage) pays off! Pretty hungry after all this menu reading. No restaurants nearby other than Chick-fil-A, so Derek flags down a passing taco truck. Meg hears taco truck driver making sarcastic remarks about lesbians in Spanish and gives him a piece of her mind! Turns out Meg speaks Spanish, too! Superhero Meg!
Wednesday
Unable to attend morning picketing session due to diarrhea (taco truck). No protesters there when I arrive at two. I haven’t eaten anything, and I’m starving. Debate (with self) whether it’s O.K. to get food from Chick-fil-A since I’m starving. Decide to buy small three-count order of Chick-n-Minis. Resolve to make up for it with extra protesting!
Derek catches me eating Minis and is pretty mad but then asks for one even though I only have three and he’s trying to cut out the carbs. Derek eats two Minis so we have to get another order (a four-count order this time). Then two hours of vigorous protesting!
Thursday
I was on TV!
Got to Chick-fil-A around 11 because I’d been thinking about those Chick-n-Minis all night and wanted try the Deluxe Chicken Sandwich (which looked very good) before everyone else got there. A TV crew was setting up so I the ate sandwich quickly and then texted Derek who brought the whole gang: Derek, Danny, Simon (playing hooky from work!), Meg, Lauren, and good sport Maureen, plus five or six new people. Lots of noise and signs and shouting for the TV!
Caught Derek sneaking into the drive-through. He admits he is obsessed with the Spicy Chicken Breakfast Biscuit (served all day), which he tried last night when he came to get some more Minis.
The reporter interviewed all of us and, when he got to me, I said I thought Chick-fil-A was going to lose a lot of business by not catering gay weddings. Which was a real loss for everyone because the food is so fantastic, especially the Deluxe Chicken and the Minis—and also very reasonably priced! Was afraid I sounded like an idiot but everyone assured me I was great!
Friday
Last night’s big TV news story (starring yours truly!) seems to have really brought out the crowds (and other TV reporters).
Lots of excitement when TV truck from Channel 7 ran over foot of reporter from Channel 4. Fundamentalist Christian counter-protester (who also happened to be a paramedic) administered first aid to Channel 4 reporter while SuperMeg (as I call her) held her head and used yoga techniques to help her relax. People of different beliefs working together, that’s what makes America great! Afterwards, Chick-fil-A sends out free bucket of Chick-n-Strips and extra large order of Waffle Fries for everyone! We can disagree without being disagreeable!
Saturday
Derek is suspending protest for now because we have done a great job of getting the word out and also he has gained eighteen pounds and is feeling very bloated.
What to do with whole day off? Decide to go to movie after stopping at a Chick-fil-A for lunch as a “civilian.” Finally try that carrot-and-raisin salad. (Every bit as good as it sounds!)
Photograph courtesy Chick-fil-A.
