Live Buzz from the D.N.C.

Platform Committee considering Sierra Club motion that all platform planks be made from a hundred per cent non-chemically-treated wood from unthreatened species of already dead union-felled trees…

Dem gadfly James Carville’s impromptu speech in the convention-center lobby said by one witness to be “spellbinding; too bad nobody could understand him!”…

Birkenstock firm fifty-dollar bid said to win nod as official leisure footwear of the 2012 Dem convention; no other shoemaker in the running…

Favorites from “H.M.S. Pinafore” as convention theme music cited in G.O.P. slime squad tweet as symbolizing Dems’ “outdated, elitist, un-American values”…

Chief Obama Fixer Rahm Emanuel barely managed to suppress a demand from the floor, following the First Lady’s ecstatically received Tuesday night speech, that the Presidential nomination be opened up to a coin toss between Barack and Michelle Obama. “Gambling shouldn’t be part of the way Democrats do things,” he explained. “Besides, we couldn’t find a spare quarter. That’s why I’m now a Party fundraiser.” …

Parking-lot rally to burn Ayn Rand in effigy outside convention center cancelled after environmentalists protest against possible hazards of aspirating lingering smoke toxins…

Motion to add plank promising to revive bankrupt Saab company and meanwhile drive Volvos tabled after demonstration by U.A.W.…

Unitarian fundamentalist sect pickets convention to demand removal of capital “B” from the word Bible in all Democratic media references…

Bill Maher-Hugh Hefner Look-Alike Contest outside Dem convention H.Q. suspected as Karl Rove-hatched hoax…

Religious leader Pat Robertson lays curse on Time Warner Cable Arena air-conditioning system after hearing from God about unisex bathrooms with gay and lesbian attendants…

Superstar Bruce Springsteen reportedly snubbed convention organizers’ offer to speak in prime time: the sixty-four-year-old rocker said to be miffed that his subject would be care of the elderly…

Dem insiders are saying the real key to capturing swing voters in November will be to focus on a huge and as yet unnamed group: the stupid. “Obama could win in a landslide by capturing just one tenth of all stupid Americans,” says one pol. “But Romney’s hold may just be unbreakable”…

Photograph by Benjamin Lowy via Instagram.