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In honor of Nigel Richards’s win in the 2012 National Scrabble Championship, a reflection on the final board of the 2011 World Championship, which Richards also won.
’Twas DONKO and the URANITES
Did HOH and WILGA as they played;
The TIRLS, the BAWD, the BEES, the WISE,
The NEMNED ZOOIDs all arrayed.
Gather ye IXIA while ye may.
By VUG and QINTAR OMNIFIED,
A Scrabble champ UNCOPES, REGRANTS,
And LAZOES points with keen perusal
Of a rack where no word’s usual.
(Who has ever heard of SURAL?
Worn a POTAE in the plural?
NY(ED) a stranger in a pub?
It may not work in a N.Y. club,
But U.K. rules give greater leeway:
Spelling depends on where you are NE.)
Gather ye IXIA while ye may.
IO! Oh, MY! AE, SI! OE no!
(OE’s the wind off the Faroes, in case you don’t know.)
Esprit de CORF? No, CORF’s a basket;
DAVY’s a lamp, if you had to ask it;
Agee and AJEE both mean askew;
While having an EX says your marriage is through.
Gather ye IXIA while ye may.
Before we bag our tiles and tote
Our points up in the idle hope
That a bingo lurks there, lying low
Let’s take some heart from PIETY,
One of the only words I see
That might have been played by you or me—
Except for PA, not counting DE,
A somewhat affected preposition:
Judith DE Queens? “Of” is what it means, luv.
Four hundred and seventy-six is a decent score
(I’ve occasionally racked up a little more—
But Scrabble depends on the luck of the draw.)
So, well done, Nigel. Bravo, GUV:
You deserve a Mazel Tov!
You’ll break five hundred another day:
Gather ye IXIA while ye may.
Read Judith Thurman’s 2009 piece on Scrabble-mania.
Illustration by Otto Steininger.