Poll: New Scandal Not Up to Clintons’ Usual Standards

Photograph by Mike SegarGetty
Photograph by Mike Segar/Getty

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—A new poll indicates that the American people are deeply disappointed in Hillary Clinton's State Department e-mail flap because it does not live up to the high standards of sordidness set by Clinton scandals of the past.

Davis Logsdon, who supervised the poll for the University of Minnesota's Opinion Research Institute, said that those surveyed were "receptive and even intrigued" by the idea of a new Clinton scandal, but then were deflated when they learned what the scandal actually involved.

"When people hear the words 'Clinton scandal,' they expect a certain amount of sex and sleaze," Logsdon said. "But once they find out that this one is about State Department e-mail regulations which may or may not have been disobeyed, they feel very let down."

"In a sense, the Clintons have created this problem for themselves," Logsdon added. "They set an extremely high bar with some very memorable scandals in the past, and for a lot of people, this one just doesn't live up to the hype."

The current scandal could be salvaged in the public's eye if some of Hillary Clinton's e-mails turn out to have sexual content, but Logsdon called that "a long shot."

"The poll results show that there's a genuine appetite out there for a juicy Clinton scandal," he said. "But, sadly, there's also a sense that maybe they did their best work in the nineties."

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