Obesity, as the media informs us daily, if not hourly, is no laughing matter. Being fat, on the other hand, is another matter entirely:
The truth is, humor is not kind to any deviation from body norms …
… or one’s mind.
Whether you are fat or skinny, dumb or too smart for your own good, you are grist for the cartoon mill.
Now, when it comes to “people of size,” I’ve been there and done that cartoon:
So, guilty as charged. But what’s done cannot be undone. In the words of Omar Khayyám, “The Moving Finger writes; and, having writ, Moves on: nor all thy Piety nor Wit Shall lure it back to cancel half a Line, Nor all thy Tears wash out a Word of it.”
Ditto the cartoonist’s pen.
But, as recompense, let me offer some illustrated diet tips (by the cartoonist Ben Schwartz) that I use to maintain my own svelte silhouette. I guarantee that if you’re a person of size, you’ll lose at least a size if you follow them.
The Reverse-Meal Diet
Meals, especially at restaurants, are engineered to keep us eating. They start you off with the least appetizing course and end with the most appetizing (dessert). So, just reverse the sequence and you’re bound to eat less.
The next two tips have to do with forcing you to eat more slowly. When you eat too fast, the body’s natural satiation mechanisms don’t have time to tell you that you’re full.
The Tiny-Utensils Diet
This, of course, requires you to bring your own tiny utensils to the restaurant. It’s bit of a pain, to be sure, but they’re easy to carry along because, well, they’re tiny.
Finally, along the same lines, we have …
The Zeno’s-Paradox Diet
One version of Zeno’s paradox says that to get to any stationary object, you first have to go half the distance. Then half of that. Then half of that, and so on, ad infinitum, with the result being that, theoretically, you would never get there.
The meal version would look like this:
One final word: before embarking on any of these diets, it might be advisable to consult a physician or a psychiatrist.
While you’re awaiting that consultation, here’s a big helping of diet-related cartoons. Enjoy! In moderation, of course.
