In the last World Cup, there was Paul the Octopus. Now there’s me. I have an uncanny ability to predict the outcome of matches in this year’s tournament. Well, one game really: yesterday’s grudge match between Ghana and the U.S.A. Here’s a text exchange with a buddy of mine that took place about an hour before kickoff:
Then, at halftime, when U.S.A. was holding a shaky one goal lead, I texted this prediction in anticipation of another long, dodgy second half:
And that’s pretty much exactly what happened. By my count, Ghana equalized on their tenth chance on goal. We regained the lead through Brooks’s header, which was exactly our third chance.
Even more amazing, three days ago I texted this:
Okay, that last one was fake. Not even a cephalopod mollusk could have predicted that. But the first two were absolutely true. That’s why I can be trusted to guide you through the rest of the World Cup. If you’re not convinced, consider this: I’ve played soccer IN AMERICA for thirty-something years. In fact, I still play in an older person’s league in which we have mandatory prune breaks. Oh yeah, and also I’m a cartoonist. Finally, a World Cup blog from an American soccer-playing cartoonist’s perspective.
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Images courtesy Matt Diffee.
