What’s everyone getting for lunch today? (jk we already know) #spies
Don’t you hate when Starbucks spells your fake name wrong on the cup? #AliasProblems #VentiVenting
RT if you love America, fave if you’re engineering a violent plot to ensure its downfall!
This Foo Fighters cover of Tom Petty sure is an “extraordinary rendition”!
We’re looking into it, Jonathan. RT @jpltaco my weird neighbor was up all night shoveling fertilizer into a uhaul, smells awful smdh
Anyone else dying at their desk after lunch? #ChipotleComa #CentralIndigestionAgency
“Somebody’s Watching Me” by Rockwell is my new jam. Listen: thisismyjam.com/cia/_8ggramc
Just read his texts, he’s mad guilty RT @sophiesm87 I think Jayden is cheating on me ??
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Lookin’ for detailed schematics of the Brooklyn Bridge? Click here: cia.gov/ip-tracker
If you’re ██████ avoid ████ spilled ███████ water supply.
wat RT @BarackObama Happy Bastille Day!
@TunaBoner69 Sorry, we have no record of your brother ever existing ¯_(ツ)_/¯
If you live in Syria, DM us. You just won the #free #cellphone #giveaway!
@kaliereed7 No, the free phones aren’t bugged #notallspies
The humidity at Langley feels like we’re being tortured in a black site in Thailand. #sorrynotsorry
Hope this drone attack makes an O.K. wedding gift. #YOLO
Engage Operation Nightingale IV
Whoops, accidentally sent a draft! Unrelated, but praying for those lost in Cleveland after all the oxygen mysteriously caught fire.
Illustration: Ed Nacional