Two Weeks of Status Updates from Your Vague Friend on Facebook

PHOTOGRAPH BY BETSIE VAN DER MEER / GETTY

MONDAY

Wow. What a day. Today was one of those days you DREAM about when you’re just a boy, and it all came true. I want to thank EVERYBODY who was involved in this day (you know who you are), and of course I also want to thank my parents. Mom and Bob, without you, a day like today NEVER could have happened! Starting in the morning, continuing through to the afternoon, and then late into the evening, all the amazing things that happened on this day were shocking and—dare I say it?—life-changing. More info soon, but for now, I just want to say: Wow.

TUESDAY

Cross your fingers for me and send good vibes today PLEASE!

WEDNESDAY

I want to thank everyone who sent me good vibes yesterday for The Thing I Can’t Tell You About Yet. Trust me: The Thing is going to be amazing! But I need your vibes. Without your vibes, The Thing definitely will NOT happen. Vibes, por favor!!!

THURSDAY

Feeling Alive.

FRIDAY

Hey guys. I’ve gotten a lot of texts from friends and well-wishers asking about what’s going on, and I just want to tell you all: I can’t say! All I can say is it’s BIG. I can also tell you, if it happens, my life WILL change dramatically. I can also tell you: I need your vibes. Bad. So whatever you do in your daily life that also sends vibes to me (which I’m so so grateful for), now is the time to do it!

SATURDAY

Gym, then brunch.

SUNDAY

Ha ha ha ha!! Yes!!!

MONDAY

Oh my God. I can’t even. No no no. This isn’t happening.

TUESDAY

I feel like some of you haven’t sent vibes. Is this true? No worries if you can’t send, but if you have any vibes in your Vibe Reserves: I NEED THEM TODAY MORE THAN EVER BEFORE.

WEDNESDAY

It happened again.

THURSDAY

Does anyone have a lab coat I could borrow? Like something a doctor would wear.

FRIDAY

Questioning EVERYTHING. About me. About you. About love. What will we do when the darkness comes alive?

SATURDAY

I bet she doesn’t even know who I am . . .

SUNDAY

“Lost time is never found again.”—Benjamin Franklin.

MONDAY

Booked it!!!!!