Back before the Constitution enshrined the principle of free speech in the very First Amendment, the French writer, wit, and philosopher Voltaire said, “I may not agree with what you have to say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
That is a very admirable sentiment, and in theory a darn fine principle. But similar to “Honesty is the best policy,” Voltaire’s admonition is more honored in the breach than in regular observance.
There are some obvious reasons for that. First, very few people are willing to die for things they do believe in, and second, that goes double, triple, and maybe even quintuple for things they don’t.
Also, even if there are some stalwarts out there who number among the very brave and principled few, chances are that they won’t be around when you need them:
But, you may ask, would I, Bob Mankoff, be there for you, doing the defending-to-the-death thing? Well, let me deftly dodge that by saying that you really don’t want me in that capacity. I’m well past my martial-arts prime, which even way back then just consisted of giving noogies. No, really, you want someone else, someone who is adept enough at doing the defending not to die, which is good for him, obviously, and great for you, because, let’s face it, if he goes down, you’re next.
Now I know that you may say, especially in light of the Charlie Hebdo and Copenhagen killings, that the issues swirling around freedom of speech are too serious to laugh about.
Obviously, given what I’ve written here, I would disagree with you about that, but rest assured that I or someone more qualified than me would—indeed, should—defend to the death your right to say it. And, to turn uncharacteristically serious for a moment, that someone is actually all of us someones, in the form of our government, our Constitution, and that very First Amendment.
P.S. For a completely serious discussion of this issue, read this interview I did with Flemming Rose, an editor at the Danish newspaper Jyllands-Posten, who was threatened with death for publishing Muhammad cartoons, about his book, “The Tyranny of Silence.”
