The State Department. January, 2009.
TECH SUPPORT: Hi, Secretary Clinton? I’m Liz, from tech support. Your assistant said that you needed help getting Outlook on your phone?
SECRETARY OF STATE HILLARY RODHAM CLINTON: Oh, hi. Great. Come on in.
TECH: This shouldn’t take too long. Are you working on a Blackberry or an iPhone?
CLINTON: God, who knows. I have so many devices these days.
TECH: Really? How many?
CLINTON: Two.
TECH: That shouldn’t be a problem. So let’s get Outlook fired up here. O.K. Hmm. It looks like you haven’t set up an account yet?
CLINTON: I’ve been using my hdr22@clintonemail.com address.
TECH: Most State Department employees prefer to use a state.gov address.
CLINTON: I don’t know that I would describe my role here as “employee.”
TECH: Right. Well, it’s sort of a best-practice thing. We can make sure that all your correspondence is secure this way, and it’ll make it easier to comply with FOIA requests.
CLINTON: Why would there be a FOIA request?
TECH: You’re right. There won’t be. But I like to say you can never be too careful.
CLINTON: I guess. Liz, between you and me, I’m not really a big e-mailer. I pretty much only use it for stuff like planning Chelsea’s wedding and chatting with my yoga instructor about whether we should impose sanctions on Iran.
TECH: It’s still good to get this set up. Go ahead and connect your device to the computer.
CLINTON: . . .
TECH: You can use that U.S.B. portal.
CLINTON: . . .
TECH: Here, it’s just this cord. O.K., I’m noticing that you have a lot of documents just saved to your desktop. It’s really safer to save them directly on the State Department server.
CLINTON: I’ll be sure to do that.
TECH: That way they’re password-protected. And again, FOIA.
CLINTON: I’m less worried about that than you are.
TECH: You’re the boss! O.K., next go to "Settings."
CLINTON: . . .
TECH: It looks like a little gear symbol.
CLINTON: Oh! There it is.
TECH: Then to go to "General."
CLINTON: . . .
TECH: . . .
CLINTON: . . .
TECH: It’s down next to—
CLINTON: I got it, all right? Jesus.
TECH: Follow the prompt for e-mail.
CLINTON: I’m not seeing it.
TECH: It’s right there next—
CLINTON: Please don’t point. I’ll never learn that way.
TECH: O.K., sorry. Keep scrolling.
CLINTON: Is it under Bluetooth? What is Bluetooth?
TECH: No, it’s—
CLINTON: Do I need to be in Dropbox?
TECH: What? No. Just click e-mail.
CLINTON: Got it!
TECH: Great. Let’s get you rolling with a username and a password. Feel free to really be creative here. Some people use their pets’ names, or the name of their high school.
CLINTON: How about just “password”?
TECH: That’s sort of not ideal.
CLINTON: O.K., how about “Benghazi”?
TECH: Perfect. It’s hard to spell and it doesn’t have any special significance.
CLINTON: So I’m done?
TECH: Not quite, but we’re close. Now input your username and password.
CLINTON: I am. It’s not accepting “Benghazi.”
TECH: Hmm. That’s O.K. This is a known issue. Let’s try "retrieve password."
CLINTON: I’m hitting it but nothing’s happening.
TECH: Do you mind if I take over?
CLINTON: Fine. But I won’t learn.
TECH: Here’s the problem. It needs a number. Can we do a different password? Maybe “MrsPrez16”? That’s good, right?
CLINTON: That’s terrible, but I don’t care.
TECH: Hey, Madam Secretary, I get that this is frustrating. Believe me. Just remember that we’re on the same team here.
CLINTON: Sorry. UGH. I put in “MrsPrez16” and it’s rejecting that too!
TECH: You know, it’s probably because you’re not using a trusted wifi network. O.K., go back to Settings.
CLINTON: You know what, I’m just going to stick with my personal account. No one is going to care.
TECH: You’re probably right. Honestly, this system is so clunky; I’ve been forwarding stuff to my Gmail since 2006.
CLINTON: Can you get me set up with a Gmail?
TECH: I’m really not supposed to.
CLINTON: Fine. But while you’re here, could you help me change my Facebook picture? I want to use this one.
TECH: Oh, nice! You look so badass texting while wearing sunglasses.
CLINTON: I know.
TECH: Meme alert!
CLINTON: Right.
TECH: Girl, I’ll probably make that my profile picture, too. Or at least my Twitter avatar.
CLINTON: Please don’t call me “girl.”
TECH: It just makes you look like such a tech-savvy, feminist icon.
CLINTON: I am that.
TECH: Totally. O.K., here you go. It’s all set. And don’t worry about the e-mail thing.
