The revelations concerning the N.S.A.’s clandestine global-surveillance programs have stoked privacy concerns and increased skepticism about digital communications. Against the background of such heightened sensitivities, a rash of odd posts appeared on Craigslist’s Missed Connections last week, fuelling speculation that the intelligence community has taken to the popular message board to fill the gaps in its data-mining operations.
give me your brown-eyed, your foreign (liberty island)—w4m
You were the guy on Liberty Island last weekend, taking pictures of the Statue of Liberty. You were so cute, the way you used your pay-as-you-go Samsung Galaxy S III to send the photos to various domestic and overseas contacts. At one point, you stood in the rough vicinity of a pretzel vendor for approximately eleven minutes. You must really love pretzels—or were you talking to him about something else? Or at all? Unclear. You gave off a vibe suggesting that you’re a Yemeni national currently studying econometrics at the University of Toronto who came to New York for the weekend on his own. I was that woman you saw—the one you found very attractive. I hope you see this, because I love guys from Yemen, as well as pictures of structures of considerable symbolic or strategic import. Let’s hang out!
shy admirer (near you)—?4?
We’ve known each other for years, and I’ve had a crush on you the whole time, but I’ve never had the guts to tell you. You’re smart, quirky, a quiet romantic, and it may seem like nobody notices how subtly and searingly sexy you are, but I have. I am (I hope) the person of your dreams. If you feel the same, please give me a sign (I’m so shy!) by posting a detailed account of your opinion of the N.S.A.’s Prism surveillance program on Facebook. Don’t keep me waiting ;-)
NY License Plate ULX 489 (410 W. 56th Street Apt. 3F)—m4w
To the beautiful tax attorney who regularly has her Subaru Outback serviced on Eleventh Avenue by a Palestinian mechanic whose cousin once went to grade school with a man whose ex-business partner shared an apartment with a journalist who has yet to denounce Hamas in print: hello. Could you introduce me to your mechanic?
I loved your sparse teen-age beard (Khimki)—w4m
I saw you in the transit area of Moscow’s Sheremetyevo Airport and I think we made eye contact. You were rocking the geek chic, which I looooove! I got the feeling we’d have a lot in common, from nerding out over comic books to talking about international travel to just goofing around with security holes in various global information systems. But now you’ve left the airport and I can’t find you in Russia. Where did you go? I am the daughter of the President of Iceland. Tell me where I can meet you alone.
I always want to call you Super Dave (everywhere)—m4m
You are Ron Wyden, the senior U.S. Senator for Oregon. I’m just a regular guy, nothing special about me, couldn’t pick me out of a crowd, just a dude who spends his days sitting at a computer keyboard analyzing secret information. What have I seen relating to you? Who knows? So why stir the pot, my friend? Oh, also: has anyone ever told you you look like Bob Einstein? That guy cracked me up on “Curb.” Are you a fan? Your Netflix queue suggests you are!
Photograph: Paul J. Richards/AFP/Getty
