PYONGYANG (The Borowitz Report)—In a move that has further ratcheted up tensions on the Korean peninsula, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un today moved his entire collection of Transformers action figures to the border with South Korea.
According to sources familiar with the size and scope of the collection, which is believed to be the largest in Asia, the mercurial Kim began assembling it when he was either eight or nine.
In Washington, an intelligence source reported that satellite photos have confirmed thousands of Transformers massing on the southern border: “We are seeing no Autobots. Just tons and tons of Decepticons.”
Kim himself confirmed the Transformers mobilization today on state television, announcing, “I am Megatron,” followed by an unintelligible roar.
The latest development in North Korea follows published reports that Kim Jong-un may be trying to obtain a light sabre.
Get the Borowitz Report delivered to your inbox.
Photograph by Carlos Osorio/Toronto Star/Getty.
